I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
