I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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