he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
