So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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