I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i think i have herpe
just one?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
