yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
