That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
