that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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