Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I could make wine with my vomit
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
