dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
