i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
