a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
