there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
