I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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