new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
