i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
