I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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