so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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