you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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