It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
