girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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