Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
