my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
