maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
