hotel room ftw
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
