If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
