There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
