Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Too much gin, very little bucket
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
