like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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