is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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