I'm jealous of your bromance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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