how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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