people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
