Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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