so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
