She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
