you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
