i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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