i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
