bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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