"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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