reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
