I hate your face
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
