Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
