How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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