Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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