I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
