Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
