No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
