what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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