I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
