Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize