I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
