It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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