For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it glows. i had to have it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
