Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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