I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
