You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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