i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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